Vedokun

Vem är jag? Det är en fråga utan ett svar Endast plågsam tystnad Vad finns kvar Om jag förlorar allt jag har? Värdelöst Ett ynkligt försök blott att bli förstådd Ingen minns hur mina tårar rann Känslornas fångenskap Har min själ inget val? Varför klarar jag inte av att gråta mer? Tystnaden, svart, omkring Försvinner dock en gång till Då rösterna i skallen min Åter blir allt fler Rösterna talte ord som sved Lämnar mig ej ifred

It was that little glimpse of joy That got me so enthralled When it turned out to be a ploy I wished to end it all Mountain of shame, a sea of tears And valley of lost hope Pain that lasted me for years As I struggled to cope I looked for signs of deep regret For all the damage done Or just a little guilt, but yet I found that there was none All responsibility Was mine alone to bear Cowards like that bring tragedy And vanish in thin air Stricken down, I rose anew I'm not easy to kill Once now beaten black and blue Honestly, quite the thrill Just a bit of gratitude For the hurt that made me wise The life within me is renewed And you cannot fool me twice

Years ago I stepped into a world, to me unknown I landed on my feet, but I was all on my own Became someone I never thought I had the guts to be Without the old chains I found myself a bit too free The heavens were my limit, and I was reaching high But it wasn't long before I crashed down from the sky I was aware that I should stop, I just didn't know when With foolishness my dearest friend, I crashed and burned again Once was not enough, and twice just made it worse Third time was the charm, it made all my wits disperse From there on out it was a very straightforward downhill Sanity was for the weak, just like my free will I tossed away what mattered most, for nothing mattered at all Happy like an idiot, I continued my free fall Kept going on, and going strong, and ran into a wall Bruised and battered all the way, somehow still standing tall I am nowhere near ashamed, though I keep inside my shell And I do no longer care that I am mentally unwell What they deem a sickness, well

I like it dripping like water from a faucet When life is constricting like a bloody corset A flick of my wrist and my troubles bleed out Precise injection that lets me breathe out Misunderstood ever since I was born Even to this day my mind remains torn I've quit over and over but who keeps the score? Relapse 'fore Christmas and blood on the floor This isn't the first time I swore it would end The truth is frail, yet so easy to bend A few drops of red do not quite prove a crime So this will be far from my very last time Once I was happy, so I would like to think These arms are tired, they're purple and pink Relapse 'fore Christmas and no one that cares Perhaps no one noticed, perhaps no one dares Memory fails me, I recall only pain My hands go numb beneath the icy rain Steel of the blade flashes in the moonlight Final relapse on Christmas, silent is the night